As an executive development professional and a fierce advocate for women of color in leadership, there is something I feel compelled to address. It’s something I believe can be a career killer for leaders, especially Black women leaders: the moment when you stop moving.
Recently, a Latina woman leader I had previously worked with reached out to me via LinkedIn. Her message was frantic: "I need to talk to you about the coaching services you offer." She was now an executive at a much smaller company than the one we had worked at together. I sent her a link to schedule time with me to discuss her needs, eager to reconnect. But from the moment her face appeared on the Zoom call, my stomach dropped. I had been excited to catch up and hear all about her new thriving career. Instead, I was met with a look of terror beaming at me through my computer screen.
She immediately started talking. In a matter of ten minutes, she laid out the heart-breaking experience she was having as a leader, filled with microaggressions, misogyny, and other systemic challenges. I listened intently, pen in hand, feverishly capturing her story. Then she hit me with the near-tragedy of it all: she had been experiencing this for the last six months.
She explained that she had been trying to keep her head down, adjusting her actions and behaviors based on feedback, all to no avail. Now, she felt like her job was in jeopardy and was in pure panic mode. After an intense fifteen minutes of talking, she suddenly realized she hadn’t taken a breath. She looked into the camera at me and paused.
My reply: "I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds horrific. But the problem I see immediately is, 'Girl, you stopped moving!'"
This story is becoming all too familiar in my coaching sessions, among the women of the POWER Tribe, and in conversations with my peers and colleagues. I’m no professional therapist, so I dare not attempt to diagnose or treat anyone. But as a coach, an experienced executive, and a leader, I know that the old saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going," is more than just a cliché—it’s a necessity in these moments.
There comes a moment, for many of us, when the weight of it all pushes us to retreat, surrender, or feel paralyzed by the circumstances. This is what I call "Retreat Syndrome." It's a reality we must acknowledge, address, and discuss openly.
I’ve been there too. Early in my 20-year corporate career, I found myself retreating, feeling overwhelmed and unsure of the path forward. It’s easy to succumb to this behavior when the pressures of leadership and the added layers of systemic injustice feel insurmountable. But as an Executive Development Coach and the creator of the POWER Tribe, I’ve learned that this moment—this defining moment—doesn't have to be an endpoint. It can be a turning point.
We can rise above it with intentional steps focused on:
1️⃣ Recovery: Regaining our confidence and restoring our energy to move forward. This step is foundational—taking a breath, giving yourself grace, and finding your footing again. Without recovery, it’s challenging to proceed with clarity and strength.
2️⃣ Resilience: Developing the strength to stand firm in the face of adversity. Building resilience early in the process helps you withstand future challenges as you move forward. It’s about fortifying your resolve and ensuring you can handle the pressure that comes with reengagement.
3️⃣ Reengagement: Taking strategic actions to step back into our power with renewed purpose. After recovery and building resilience, you’re better equipped to reassess your goals, set clear intentions, and re enter the arena with a solid plan.
4️⃣ Reclamation: Reclaiming our power, influence, and impact in leadership. This is the culmination of your journey—taking back what’s yours, owning your space, and leading with the full force of your experience, wisdom, and authenticity. Reclamation is the final step where you fully embrace and exert your leadership power.
Don’t fall victim to Retreat Syndrome. An executive coach is a crucial part of your "dream team" because they invest time in understanding you, contributing to your growth and development, and identifying your blind spots and weaknesses. A skilled coach can even help you anticipate potential challenges and take action before they escalate.
Get the support you need before these challenges arise, because we know they will. If you’re ready to break the cycle, rise above the circumstances, and lead with strength, reach out to me for executive coaching. Together, we can ensure you stay empowered and proactive in your journey.
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