The Effects of Too Much Alone Time

April 10, 2020 By: Kenya D

Every morning when I awake, the first thing I think about (after Thanking God for allowing me to see a new day) is COFFEE!

I do not consider myself a coffee snob and I enjoy teas just as much.

When my alarms sound at 5:30 in the morning, something comes over me. I can hear the whistling tea pot on the stove as I grind my coffee beans in my nutribullet. And… the smell of the of freshly brewed coffee…. OH YES!

I open the cupboard to decide which coffee mug best fits my vibe. I make my way into my sacred space for some alone time.

My family calls it our library because it’s filled with books and a computer. For me, it is much more than that. When I enter the room through the double doors, the first thing staring back at me are my vision boards. I don’t have every board I have created but enough to practically fill the wall. There are two comfortable chairs and a small table against the windows. At 6:00am in the morning, it is one of the quietest places in the house.

When I take that first sip of coffee it sends a signal to me that for the next few moments, it is all about me. I call this real self-care, taking time to be with myself surveying my thoughts, beliefs, fears, and goals.

Although I am habitual about my morning coffee, since being confined to the house due to the coronavirus pandemic it feels like my coffee moments are coming back to back to back. I have felt like on some days that I wake up, drink coffee, go to bed, wake up, and drink coffee again. It reminds me of the movie, Groundhog Day.

Like most you, I have had a lot of time to reflect and think.

I have been blessed to understand the value and practice of self-reflection from a young age. I learned it as a 13-year-old in teen counseling. One thing I know for sure is, as our lives change so do, we.  Sometimes we are moving so fast, we miss the moments when change is among us.

As I flip through the pages of my journal and take account of what MORE I learned about myself over about 21ish cups of coffee, some of them made me cringe, others made me shrug and some made me laugh out loud!

So here goes…

  1. I can’t stay up as late as I used to.
  2. When my kids leave one item in the sink overnight, my top is about to blow….will someone please send my mom back to her own body?
  3. I really hate working out.
  4. I get mad at people and hold a grudge for at least 5 minutes when they don’t speak back.
  5. I really don’t like a lot of this new music.
  6. I need my morning quiet time.
  7. I like to listen to music while I shower. Those concerts give me life!!
  8. I am an emotional dresser!
  9. My gardening skills picked up where they left off nearly 4 years ago. #OnFleek
  10. I need my connection to my girlfriends. They make me better and keep me sane! I am grateful for Google Hangouts.

Sure, this list is a bit comical, a few light-hearted moments is what I need right now. However,  I was reminded that every new challenge or circumstance brings forth things about us that are good and needs work.

The one word that best describes what was really revealed to me while reviewing this list is GROWTH.

One definition of GROWTH is the process of developing or maturing physically, mentally, or spiritually. Being able to identify things about ourselves that cause agitation or brings us joy, is an important part of our growth journey.

I have been complimented and awarded on several occasions for being able to bring the best out of others even if at first the task seems insurmountable. I attribute this to a lot of different things, but one key contributing factor is my willingness and ability to prioritize looking at myself. I have learned that the more you find out about yourself, the more you find out how to be of service to others.

So as you are sitting in your homes planning out how you are going to stay busy and keep your sanity, creating the master plan for your life, don’t forget to put discovering more about yourself at the top of your list. Your future self will thank you for it.


“The life we are trying to create will never exceed the people we are willing to grow into.” Kenya Dunn

 Who is Kenya Dunn? Kenya Dunn is the visionary and creator of the Power Tribe, a fee- based membership community created by women of color with women of color in mind. To find out more about Kenya and the Power Tribe, #JointheMovement  Follow us on Instagram @Powertribecommunity